Life in the world of Soccer AM –Week 1

I arrived in Richmond, London, late Sunday afternoon and as my weeks at Sky Sports would be from Tuesday until Saturday, I figured I might as well head into London on Monday and see some sights. Get out of the Goldfish Bowl as a certain Mr T Bowles would tell me.

And yes, I did do all the typical touristy sights before I returned back to my room in St Margaret’s to get an early night, ready for my first day in the work ex world of Sky Sports.

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TUESDAY:

So, after a short train journey, I arrived at the Sky Sports complex in Twickenham.

After explaining to the security guard on the gatehouse that I was there on work experience, he gave me my pass and signed me in.

Before long two sports runners came and collected me, and two other lads who were also beginning work ex placements and we did the tour. We saw Sky News, Sky Graphics, the props department and SkySports.com. It is literally like a military base in the middle of Twickenham.

After that I was told I would be working on the production of Soccer AM for the next two weeks which meant I’d be working with Rushden, Tubes, Rockett, Helen and Baby Elvis. Fantastic.

I was then made to do the mandatory ‘Health & Safety’ training. Fantastic! Not! 'Health&Safety' weren't around to make it fun either...

Still, the two runners were sound and upon discovering that the safety induction programming wasn’t working, they closed down the website and told me that if anyone asked to say I’d done the training and they’d cover for me as long as I didn’t do anything stupid like nail myself to the floor or touch a plug socket with wet hands.

So far, so good…

The afternoon basically consisted of pottering around the Soccer AM office and running tapes backwards and forwards between the office and the Sky Sports Archive library.

Whilst in the office I got to meet Tubes, Rockett, Steve, Scott and Bobbie (the prop master) as well as Max Rushden.

Bobbie was sound and pretty much took me under his wing from the off, giving me jobs to do and people to speak to, whilst mocking my accent. He also asked me if I fancied going with him straight from the office that night to play football with him and the rest of the team.

I was immediately conflicted. I really wanted to, but I am woefully bad at football and therefore there was the potential for me to make myself look a prat.

After a good 30 seconds of consideration, I said yes. Although I did warn him I was bad and emphasised it again when Bobbie laughed by saying: “No, I’m not being modest, I am actually shit”.

I’m a firm believer that honesty is always the best policy.

I also had a slight problem. I didn’t have any kit with me or boots to play in, but that was soon solved as Bobbie delved into the props cupboard.

Sorted… well almost, I just needed boots.

Then the most bizarre thing happened. Rushden called me over and produced a pair of very old Adidas boots.

“There you go. You’re a Geordie boy; these were Peter Beardsley’s from Italia 90. I’m sure you’ll do him and the boots proud tonight.”

Oh how little you know of me Mr Rushden.

We played football, my team got beat but just to clarify, Rocket has unbelievable ‘tekkers’!

Overall a great first day in the world of SoccerAM.

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Wednesday:

My second day in the world of SoccerAm was fairly quiet.

By quiet I mean I sat and watched them gather together footage from League 1 and 2 as well as heading over to an Edit suite to see how the ‘Team-Mates’ segment is edited down. This week the club was Blackburn Rovers and to be honest it wasn’t the greatest ‘team-mates’ I’ve ever seen. Still, it was interesting enough.

Back in the office I learnt to duck fast as Tubes and Baby Elvis blasted a pink Aston Villa football back and forth between them. I suppose this is the normal behaviour in an office that lives and breathes football 24/7.

The day passed quietly enough with me finishing off the day being locked in an edit suite with Baby Elvis and a senior editor (who shall remain nameless) listening to them talk about performing ‘sex-acts’ shall we say on ladies with a rather large amount of hair down below.

I digress, but to say I wasn’t learning a lot on this placement would be an understatement…

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Thursday:

The highlight of the morning in the SoccerAM office had to be when they got 17 cases of ‘Frijj’ milkshake delivered for free off their sponsor.

The downside of the free milky refreshment arrival was that I was given the job of unpacking all 17 cases and finding refrigerated homes for it all.

From there I was finally allowed into the ‘Props Cupboard’ which is like an lair of football related memorabilia and free footballing products manufacturers want advertised on the show.

One such trinket I found really impressed me. I picked them up and couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one was behind me and immediately began to try them on.

They were a cosy fit, but the fine stitching and gold finish made them worth it. No, I’m talking about Manchester United’s famous number 11, Ryan Giggs’ new boots.

The boots were made by Reebok to commemorate his 800^th performance for United and I’m not going to lie, they were terrific. If I could’ve, I would have tried to smuggle them out of the SoccerAm office, but the place is like Fort Knox when it comes to free goods. I mean, they count how many Fox-In-The-Box t-shirts they have at the end of each day, just to make sure no ones been too handy whilst in the props cupboard.

Who knows what would happen if they turned up one short?

Steve Sutcliffe aka ‘Fernando Steven’ also pulled out a great Anti-Arsenal chant in response to some banter with Bobbie (who is an arsenal fan) after a brief spot of lunch, shouting this as loud as he could across the office: “With a packet of sweets, and a cheeky smile, Arsene Wenger is a F***ing paedophile”.

In the afternoon I was involved in scouting a location to be used in a sketch they were filming which spoofed the news story that Manchester United’s Ji-Sung Park apparently drank Frog Juice as a youngster.

Times were obviously tough in South Korea back in the 90’s!

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Friday:

The final day before the live show, and what a day it turned out to be. Absolute chaos on set.

I was literally running around like a blue-arsed fly all day.

The day started off well enough. I met Ms SoccerAM, Helen Chamberlain and she was fantastic! Not quite as fantastic as Ms Thompson, but she gives a cracking hug and really made me feel welcome. Also, because she drives an Aston Martin she therefore gets a bonus mark for having good taste in cars!

I then was able to sit on the SoccerAm sofa, which is surprisingly uncomfortable, and watch as they shot ‘Our man in a caff’. It was great to see it being put together, even if Trev’s accent was a bit off the mark at times.

I was then lucky enough to be chauffer driven into Hounslow High Street later which is one of the nicest places in the UK I’ve ever been to.

I lie, it’s a right dump. The driver even locked our doors at one set of traffic lights, although I think that may have been more to do with the fact he was a bit unhinged than anything to do with the area, as I’m sure when I first got in the car to meet him, he growled at me?!

Later on in the afternoon I then got to play the part of ‘Dahlia’ the Soccerette as they did the run through. I can honestly say there is nothing quite like telling Max Rushden you’re a 32 DD in front of an audience of strangers, under hot lighting before being made to limbo whilst balancing a ball on your pair of imaginary breasts, to make you feel welcomed within the working environment.

This was followed by more running around before I eventually got home at about 10pm.

Quick sleep before heading back into the office for 7am, ready for the live show…

The next blog on how being in the studio for the live show went will follow shortly. Check back and give it a read...